Got to start somewhere

...Well, hello there...thanks for stopping by.
This is my first entry here, and will serve as my intro I guess...
I'm double the size I should be, and living half the life I want to. I aim to slim down to half the size I currently am, and live twice the life.

A recent weekend away, and the subsequent publishing of photos of me and J [partner] on a website forum by someone else has made me face facts and decide enough is enough. I don't want to ask P to remove the photos...I'd be too embarrassed to have to explain why, so i'll let the photos stay, and force myself to look at them online to remind myself why I'm doing this.
Quick Biography:
I'm female, born in 1974. I'm 5'7 and approximately 21 stones (294 lbs)! Eeek! I'm currently unemployed, but looking for exciting ways to be self-employed and work from home. If you have any ideas I'd be thrilled to hear them. I help out in a pet shop occasionally.
I tried Weight Watchers a few years ago, and it was working well, I lost my first stone easily and happily. No hunger, no hardship...just lots of yummy food, and the joys of the successful weekly weigh-ins. The Points scheme was VERY easy to follow...but then I was made redundant, and by a quirk of this government's legislation I am not entitled to any state unemployment benefits...therefore with no income whatsoever I had to stop going to Weight Watchers...and I'm sad to say with out the support of the weekly meetings and talks my motivation went away and I stopped living the WW way...the weight went back on, and has plateauxed (spelling?) at 294. I've been at 294 for over a year now, and in a state of self denial over my physical size...I can often be heard asking J, "Do I look as big as that?, I don't look as big as that, do I?, Surely not?". I honestly seem to have this idea in my head that I'm NOT as big as I am...which is why photos seem so shocking to me I suppose...
OK< so I'm not sure where I'm going to go with all this current motivation buzzing through me...signing up for this is done me a lot of good...just getting some stuff out in the open has been very therapeutic for me already...

I'm going back to Weight Watchers tomorrow evening, head hanging low and praying I don't recognise anyone...I'll be back here to post my stats, and work out where I go from there

I might get J to take some photos either this evening or tomorrow...so you can see how I currently look from the neck down.If I'm going to bare my soul on here, and feel able to discuss my deepest worries, fears and problems...then I need the reassurance of anonimity...I hope you understand. When I can jump on the scales at 140lbs (hell, I'd be happy enough at 168 lbs!)...then I may reconsider the 'anonymous' thing...I'll want to shout it from the rooftops that day!

So, if you're up for the ride, you can join me on my journey...who knows where we'll end up...just hold on tight!